Get well soon messages that actually comfort

Someone is laid up in bed, and you want to get in touch. Then you sit in front of the blank card or the open chat and realise that only the usual get well soon messages come to mind. "Hope you feel better soon." "It'll be fine." Both are kindly meant, and both sound as though you have written them a hundred times.

I think the reason is that not every illness is the same. A cold needs a different tone from an operation, and a long illness needs another one again. Once you tell them apart, the right words almost find themselves. Here are a few thoughts, with examples to borrow or adapt.

For a cold, it can be light

Someone on the sofa with a blocked nose and a hot-water bottle doesn't need serious words. A wink helps here, and short is plenty:

"Tea, blanket, a series. You are officially off duty. Get well soon!"

"Sending you some peace and quiet and a nose that can breathe again."

With a bug like that, the message really only says: I noticed you are missing. It doesn't need to carry more than that.

After surgery: give time, don't push

After an operation the head is often further along than the body. Many people want to get back to normal quickly and are frustrated that they can't. Get well wishes that add pressure on top are one more burden. Anything that gives permission is better:

"Take as long as you need. We'll hold the fort."

"I'm so glad it's behind you. Right now the only job is resting."

That is exactly why my occasion card "Gute Besserung" says "Lass dir Zeit zum Gesundwerden" (take your time getting better). There is a sunflower on the wooden tile, and at the bottom, with a wink, "Das wächst wieder zu." (That'll grow back together.) The card is A6, the birch plywood tile measures 40 mm across. It costs €4.90 without engraving and €9.90 with a name along the curve of the tile.

A practical note if you are taking a card to the hospital: many hospitals in Germany don't allow potted plants in patient rooms for hygiene reasons, while cut flowers are often fine. The rules differ from one hospital to the next, so a quick question on the ward clears it up. A card that can stay on the bedside table is the easy option.

For a long or serious illness: be there, don't cheer them up

This is where it gets harder, and where most well-meant mistakes happen. Someone who has been ill for months hears a lot of sentences that are really meant to reassure the person writing them. "It'll be fine." "You've got this." "Chin up." They sound confident, but they leave no room for the days when it isn't fine.

What carries is usually simpler. Show that you are there without handing out a task:

"I think of you often. You don't have to reply, I'll just get in touch again."

"I don't know what clever thing to say. But I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you."

And if you want to help, make it concrete rather than "let me know if you need anything". Something like: "I always cook too much on Thursdays, shall I drop some round?" That can be answered in one word. I have written about this idea at more length in my post on what to write in a condolence card. A surprising amount of it applies to illness too.

What I leave out of get well wishes

There are a few sentences I have stopped using, because they ask for more than they give:

• "It'll all be fine." You don't know that, and the person who is ill knows you don't know.
• "Stay positive." Being ill means you are allowed to be grumpy, scared or simply tired.
• "We really need you back here." Among colleagues it sounds like appreciation and still lands as pressure.
• Stories about other people who were ill. The aunt who had the same thing rarely helps. This is about this one person.

Get well soon messages for colleagues

At work the tone is a little more reserved, and that is fine. Above all, nobody should feel they have to worry about work. If the whole team signs, one shared line at the top is enough:

"We miss you, but the work isn't going anywhere. Get better in your own time."

"No emails, no meetings, just getting well. We'll be glad to have you back, whenever that is."

Get well soon for children

Children take words literally. They hear "be brave" as an instruction, and if they cry anyway, they think they have done something wrong. I prefer to tell them that they are already enough, just as they are right now.

The little encourager "Ich bin stark" fits that. It isn't really a get well card, but it reads "Du musst nicht stark werden" (you don't have to become strong) and at the bottom "Du bist es längst." (You already are.) In between, a little lion sits on the wooden tile. Not a call to grit your teeth, but permission to be strong with tears too. For a child after having their tonsils out or with an arm in plaster, I think that is just right.

For children, the message inside can simply be funny:

"Your cast is the coolest thing I've seen all week. I want to sign it!"

Small gestures that say more than a message

Sometimes the card is just the excuse for something else. An audiobook, a flask of soup, a stack of magazines for the waiting room. Or something homemade: if you have a cutting machine, my cutting file "Sunflower" lets you decorate a cushion cover, a tote bag or your own card. The sunflower has a plaster stuck across its stem. The private-use license costs €0.99 and explicitly covers gifts, and the download arrives straight after payment.

On timing: the occasion card without engraving ships from stock. With an engraved name I make it to order, and personalised pieces then take 7–10 working days within Germany. For a planned operation that is easy to prepare for; for a sudden bug, the version without engraving is the quicker choice. I don't have a dedicated get well folded card in the range, by the way. All my other small cards are under Cards & Little Words.

If you are looking for a card for a different occasion: I have also written up what belongs in the card for new baby wishes and wedding wishes.

In the end, the best get well message is rarely the most original one. It is the one that shows you were thinking of this particular person. And if nothing comes to mind at all, this is enough:

"Thinking of you. Take your time."