Wedding wishes: what to write in a wedding card

The invitation has been on the fridge for weeks, the present is sorted, and the evening before the celebration you still find yourself sitting with a pen in front of an empty card. Writing wedding wishes sounds easy until you actually have to. Everything that comes to mind feels either too sentimental or too short.

I think the cards a couple still takes out of the box years later are almost never the ones with the longest poem. They're the ones where you can tell, as you read, who wrote them.

What to write in a wedding card

A good wedding card usually has three parts, and none of them needs to be long.

Address both of them. Even if you only know one of the two well, the card is for the couple. "Dear Anna and Jonas" is nicer than a greeting where one of them is merely implied.

One personal sentence. A memory of the two of them, something you notice about them as a couple, or the moment you realised this was serious.

A wish for the future. Not for the day itself, which will be lovely anyway, but for everything that comes after.

First names are fine for signing. And if you're giving as a family, the couple will be delighted if the children write their own names underneath.

Classic, heartfelt wedding messages

If you'd rather use a ready-made line, that's completely fine. A sentence that fits you is better than an original one that feels forced.

"On your wedding day we wish you that, many years from now, you'll still look at each other the way you do today."

"For the road ahead: plenty of patience on the grey days and plenty of laughter on all the others."

"We're so happy for you both. To everything that lies ahead."

"You two fit together like hardly any other couple we know. Lovely that it's now official."

Short wishes when space is tight

Sometimes the card sits on a bouquet or is stuck to a present, and only two lines fit. Then this is enough:

"All our love on your big yes."

"To the two of you and everything still to come."

"Only the very best for your wedding. You deserve it."

With a wink

Humour works well in wedding cards as long as it pokes fun at marriage in general and not at one of the two. A mother-in-law joke or "say goodbye to your freedom" rarely lands the way it was meant when it's read out loud.

"From today you're officially allowed to argue about who loads the dishwasher wrong. We hope those are the biggest arguments you ever have."

"Congratulations! Now you just have to agree on who gets the remote."

"You've chosen forever. We've chosen the cake. Both excellent decisions."

Wedding wishes from colleagues

With a card that goes round the office, many people feel unsure because they only half know the couple. It helps to stay honest and not pretend to anything private.

"Dear Sarah, the whole team congratulates you and Tobias on your wedding. We could see how happy you were, and we're happy with you."

"Congratulations on your wedding! Enjoy the time after the celebration and come back rested. The coffee machine will be waiting."

Whoever writes in the card first does everyone a favour by writing a full sentence at the top. Otherwise you end up with "All the best!" twenty times in a row.

Wedding wishes with a cash gift

Lots of guests give money at a wedding, and still many people struggle with the sentence to go with it. My advice: say what it's meant for if you know. That turns the envelope into a present.

"For your honeymoon. Have a coffee on us, somewhere with a view of the sea."

"For the first piece of furniture in your shared home that you choose together."

"A small contribution to your big dream. We'd love to see the result one day."

The amount itself doesn't belong in the text. It's in the envelope, and that's where it stays.

What I'd leave out

Questions about children. "So when's the baby coming?" has no place on a wedding card, not even as a joke. You never know what a couple is going through.

Long quotes from famous people you don't know. They fill the card but say nothing about you or the two of them.

And comparisons with other weddings. The card belongs to this one day.

The card itself, and a small keepsake

In my workshop in Bergisch Gladbach I make the folded card for a wedding. The front carries the couple's names, the date and the place, and you choose the header yourself, for example "Alles Liebe zu eurem Ja" (all the best on your yes) or "Für euren Weg zu zweit" (for your path together). The printed text is German; the inside is blank for your own words, in whatever language you write them, which is exactly where the sentences above go. It's A6 and costs €4.90 on white paper, €5.90 on grass paper, and €2 more with an envelope made from the same paper.

If you'd prefer a ready-made message, there's the occasion card "Zur Hochzeit" (On your wedding): the birch plywood tile shows two rings and "Zur Hochzeit", and at the bottom of the card it says "Auf alles, was kommt." (To everything that lies ahead.) €4.90 without engraving, €9.90 with the wedding date along the curve at the bottom of the tile.

And if you want something to hold alongside the envelope: the breakfast board for a wedding in beech wood, approx. 22.5 × 12 cm, carries the names in script under a wreath of twigs, with the wedding date beneath, for €12.90. For everything that remains from the day, place cards, the ribbon from the bouquet and, of course, the cards, there's the wedding keepsake chest: wood, 29 × 19 × 13 cm, with names, date, place and a saying of your choice on the lid, such as "Seit diesem Tag" (since this day) or "Wir zwei" (the two of us), for €39.95.

Anything with a name is made after you order. Allow 7 to 10 working days within Germany and 9 to 12 to Austria, and order two weeks before the celebration rather than three days.

If in the end only one sentence comes to mind, write it. One honest sentence in your own handwriting is worth more than a whole page copied from somewhere. The two of them will recognise it.